A New Normal

Hello, my friends! If you follow my blog, you will notice that I haven't posted on here for a while. That's because of 2 things: 1. Mom life. 2. I actually created a new website! This has taken me a while and all my time, but I am very excited for you guys to see! I will be continuing to share posts similar to the ones on this site as well as some new stuff. I would love you guys to see how life has been since I've become a mom. It's been amazing, but also hard not having my family with me. I've learned so much and it's been a humbling time. Follow me at the following: www.itsanewnormallife.com/ https://twitter.com/ https://www.instagram.com/jensiehall/ https://www.facebook.com/jensen.parrish Thank you all! :)

LIFE.  You guys. I don’t know about you, but I swear, after becoming a mom, things seem to become… less achievable shall we say? Things that used to be simple and easy may suddenly seem like mountains to climb (or  a literal mountain of laundry). It’s like dark magic- you clean the dishes, and an hour later, there’s another pile. You clean the living room, then the baby plays with all his toys, which litters the floor again. And don’t get me started on the amount of baby throw up and diapers you clean up every hour! The point is, being a mom is  hard  and  busy.  Particularly, being a  new  mom is hard and busy. It’s like learning how to juggle, but instead of juggling balls or apples, your juggling having meals ready on time, making sure the laundry is done, making sure the baby is safe and happy, making sure you get that deadline for work or school finished, and whatever else life throws at you. And unlike learning how to juggle where y...

I remember that night as if it were yesterday. I remember that the living room light in the apartment was off, but the kitchen light was on. I remember I was wearing an old EFY T-shirt with pink cotton pajama bottoms. I remember that whole day was a good one, a great one even- we had had dinner with an amazing family and had a great spiritual lesson. We were on a spiritual high from the day, excited and ready for our break the next day, excited to be able to check our emails, excited to talk to our families. I remember kneeling next to my bed, saying my night prayers. I remember saying, “Please bless Mom, Dad, Keegan and Liam at home. I’m grateful to be able to talk to them tomorrow.” I remember the knock at the door right at the end of my prayer. Confusion seemed to buzz throughout the apartment as the six of us girls poked our heads out of rooms, wondering, “Who is knocking at 10:30 at night?” I remember seeing my mission president and his wife, their faces sad, scared,...

              His blue eyes seemed to sparkle as he smiled at me, exposing his teeth that had begun to cut through his gums before he rams his toy into his mouth. As I look into his eyes, I see my reflection as if I was looking into a clear blue lake. I stroke his head, reminding myself that this was good and that it was ok if it hurt. The nurse takes out some needles and gloves before saying, “Ok, I just need to make sure that he is laying down. The shots will be in his legs.” With that, I lay my son back. All the while, he continues smiling, looking up at me—I am his familiar. I am the one he counts on. I am the one that can help him when he is scared. He trusts me.               The nurse snaps her gloves onto her hands, then takes out the needles. She already has the band aids ready. “This will just be really quick,” she says before placing one needle into my son’s chubby thi...

I've always heard that pregnancy is a beautiful thing. I've always loved seeing new mom-to-be's baby bumps in their cute new maternity clothes as they stand in the check out line or sitting at the reception desk of some company or sitting on the bench in the mall talking on the phone. They always seem so happy and glowing. Then I got pregnant. And let me tell you something- it ain't always beautiful. I'll admit, I had the thought "What in the world was I thinking?!" run through my head once or twice. "Why would I sign up for this?!" I would think as I knelt over the toilet, vomiting everything that I had eaten for not only myself and my own hunger, but also for the little human that was growing inside of me, realizing that all of those nutrients were no good for me anymore. And the weight gain! Growing up, I've always been on the smaller side. Comments such as, "You're so small I could wrap my arms around you twice," or ...

As I have said before, life is unfigureoutable. No, I do not mean “unpredictable.” “Unfigureoutable” and “unpredictable” are two different things. You see, when you say something is “unpredictable,” you’re thinking about the future. You’re referring to not knowing what’s going to happen because unfortunately, we are not psychics who can avoid all the pains of life, or even prepare for all the great things in life. We just go with the flow and when the unpredictable things happen, we work with it.   Which leads me to “unfigureoutable.” In my opinion, when life is “unfigureoutable,” we are living in the present. It can work with its cousin, Unpredictable, because when Unpredictable happen, Unfigureoutable tags along, and while we are trudging along with Unpredictable, we sometimes can’t figure out why things happen the way it happens in that moment. Why did this person act this way towards me? Why do I feel this way about this situation? Yes, we have science, yes we have p...

There are no clouds. The leaves twirl a little dance with the breeze, and the sun relaxes. Summer is long over, but the sun still has some warmth to share with us. Jake and I drive down the street, on our way to a family gathering, minding our own business. Suddenly, Jake notices something. He pulls the truck over to the side. I'm confused, and look out the window. A man in work clothes is running. He's in a hurry to get somewhere, so Jake rolls down the window and says, "Hey, do you need a ride somewhere?" The man gratefully smiles, and says, "Yes, thanks man! I'm just down the road!" "Well, that's where we're headed, so hop on in!" Jake smiles. I move over, allowing the man to sit in the truck. Jake introduces himself, "I'm Jacob. And this is my wife, Jensen." The man introduces himself (forgive me sir, I forgot your name) and looks at me and says, "Sorry, what's your name again?" "It's Jens...

I need to find it. The back room/guest room/storage room's bookcase is filled with books from friends and dvds from my parents' house. At the bottom of the bookshelf, I see them: binders full of letters from my mission. Every letter that was ever written to me, most of the emails ever sent, are stuffed in those binders. I pull them out. Where do I begin? I flip page after page, letter after letter, until I realize that the words spoken at my setting apart, the words my mom had typed out for me to read, the words I am looking for, would most likely be in an envelope, and if it's in an envelope, it would be in one of the binders' pockets. So I start looking. Flip flip... pull pull... "Not that one..." Next binder. Flip flip... pull pull... "No..."  Last binder. Flip...  Something catches my eye. Not an envelope. An email that has been printed. On it says, "How is my precious girl?" It's an email from Dad. I can't he...

To others, the land would be nothing less of desolate. Sage brush infest the ground, growing up to a man's knee, as far as the eye can see. When the wind blows, the dust of the ground lifts up, sometimes circling in the air, a cloud on the ground that one can walk through. Surrounding this land, mountains stand majestically, protecting anything from coming out, and even more importantly, keeping anything from coming in. Arco, Idaho. Little Loss River. The land of desolate, a place where not many would come. And it is perfect for us. The sun bares down on us as we look up, eyes covered by our solar glasses, all of us excited. We are about to experience a natural phenomenon- a solar eclipse. The kids are excited, exclaiming, "Look! Can you see! WHOA!" To the naked eye, it appears to be just the sun, yet with the glasses, we see the reality- the moon slowly but surely covering the sun. To me, it's a juxtaposition-the lesser light covering the greater. We sit, antic...

My heart stopped pounding and mellowed out at the words, "Please know that we are indeed grateful for your work, but we have no positions open at the moment." This was it: the moment of truth. The truth was, I didn't make it. The truth was, even though I had worked hard and done what I could, in the end, this job wasn't in the plan. The tears didn't come initially. In fact, my first thought was honestly, "Ok. Well, that didn't work out. Just gotta think of a new plan! Hopefully, Jake will get his position, and that will work out better anyways." No, those tears didn't come until about an hour or so later, when the negativity started to fill my head. You aren't good enough. You suck.  All those hours of preparation, and this is what you get? You failed. Those thoughts filled my head for the rest of the day into the next, while I was preparing to go to work for a job that in the end, I wouldn't have in about a month. Those...

Dear seminary students, I get it. I know that it's hard having the new student teacher. I've been there. I remember being a freshman and being moved from one of the best teachers to the "new guy." He was weird and awkward. My desire to go to seminary dramatically decreased. Going to class felt like having 2 cement blocks for feet, and dragging myself into the classroom felt like a chore. I dreaded it, but I knew he was trying. I remember I tried to help him out by answering questions, but there was only so much I could do before it became too much. He needed other students to answer, and nobody wanted to do it. He didn't get hired. So, I promise I get it. Really, I'm not that much older than you. Heck, I'm young enough to be your older sister! But, I want to thank you. Thank you for showing up to class everyday. You are here because whether or not you want to be here, you made the choice to do so. Dear students, I get it. Life is insane righ...

As a kid, my biggest fears went in this order. 1. I would get kidnapped from my house. 2. I would be killed in my sleep. 3. Something bad would happen to my mom and dad or any of my brothers. I was never kidnapped, nor was I ever killed in my sleep. ***  The most unfigureoutable thing about tragedies is the aftermath. With that, the other most unfigureoutable thing is how long the aftermath lasts. For me, that aftermath was depression for a little while, then anxiety. Still anxiety. And the funny thing about anxiety is, well, it sort of becomes like a super power. Allow me to explain all the different super powers of anxiety. 1. You are pro at thinking about all the possible conclusions for every situation.  Most of these conclusions tend to be somewhat pessimistic, but your ability to think ahead skyrockets. This is normally the train of thought of an anxious person. Observe example A: " SHOOT! I didn't finish that assignment! Now that I didn't ...

My dad was white. My mom was black. But I didn't know it. I was young, maybe 6 or 7. I remember being in a store with Mom, and seeing 2 men talking. We were close enough to hear them talking. I couldn't tell you the exact conversation that was shared between them. I remember the look on my mom's face. It was not her normal happy or determined face. She had a look of disappointment and uneasiness. I didn't know why. She wouldn't tell me. Later that night sitting around the dinner table, my parents were talking. Ian ate happily, but I couldn't help but try to listen. I looked back and forth at their lips, trying to catch what they were talking about. I don't remember the exact conversation, but I do remember knowing she was talking about the two men. My mother said something about how one man was "black." I was confused. Mom, what does a "black man" mean?  They looked at me, then each other. Dad simply said, "It just means hi...