Mamas, Stay Sane: Tips to help you be in control when you feel like you're not!

LIFE. 

You guys.

I don’t know about you, but I swear, after becoming a mom, things seem to become… less achievable shall we say?

Things that used to be simple and easy may suddenly seem like mountains to climb (or  a literal mountain of laundry). It’s like dark magic- you clean the dishes, and an hour later, there’s another pile. You clean the living room, then the baby plays with all his toys, which litters the floor again. And don’t get me started on the amount of baby throw up and diapers you clean up every hour!

The point is, being a mom is hard and busy. Particularly, being a new mom is hard and busy. It’s like learning how to juggle, but instead of juggling balls or apples, your juggling having meals ready on time, making sure the laundry is done, making sure the baby is safe and happy, making sure you get that deadline for work or school finished, and whatever else life throws at you. And unlike learning how to juggle where you might learn to juggle 2 or 3 things at a time, you’re juggling everything at once.

And if you’re anything like me, that can be more than just a little overwhelming. As someone who struggles with anxiety, becoming a new mom, though the most rewarding experience, is difficult and seemed impossible to handle. So, I started some habits that I try to do everyday in order to help me feel like I am in control of my anxiety and my life that I wanted to share.

1.       Make your bed- One of the simplest things that brings me joy- amidst the mess, if my bed is made, it just makes things seem less messy. I try to make my bed right after I get up, but sometimes that doesn’t happen. Sometimes, I’m rushing out the door to get to work. Sometimes, I get up before my husband so I am unable to make it. Sometimes, I just plain forget. But before I go to bed, I make sure to make my bed, even if it’s right before I’m about to get ready for bed (may seem silly, but it makes a huge difference!) If you feel like life is chaotic and nothing is in your control, make the habit of making your bed everyday. I swear, it will help you feel even just a little bit calmer!

2.       Tidy a little bit every day or every night- For me, my house is a representation of how I feel on the inside. If my house in clean, I feel calm. If it’s chaos, I’m chaos! (Note to anyone who comes to my home- you’ll always know how I’m feeling now when you walk inside!) I used to let the clutter consume me, my anxiety driving me to madness every time I tried to keep things cleaned. I’d become irritable and not fun to be around. This year, after lots of thought (and yes, after watching all of Marie Kondo’s Tidying Up episodes), I realized it didn’t have to be that way. No, I haven’t pulled out all of my clothes and placed them on my floor to see what “sparks joy” for me (though that is on my to-do list!), but I make sure that every night, once the baby is put in bed, I clean up the floors, put away the dishes, and wipe the counters. It’s AMAZING what a difference it makes. I set a timer for 15 minutes- that’s it. Then waking up in the morning is way more pleasant!

If you find that you can’t tidy your entire house, maybe pick the one room you want the cleanest. For me, that’s my kitchen. Maybe for you, it’s the living room or bathroom. But pick one room- then when you walk into it, even if everything else is messy, you can still feel like you’re in control!

3.       Exercising weekly- After losing my parents and brothers in a carbon monoxide accident, I found that I put a lot of my energy into working out. The release of all that endorphins made me feel focused and energized. It became a relief and a habit. If you find that you are feeling sluggish, tired, or even depressed or anxious, try finding an exercise that works for you. It may running for 10 minutes, it may be lifting for 30 minutes, it may be yoga or pilates for an hour… whatever you love, try to do it 3 times a week. It’s amazing how much of a difference it will make for you!

4.       Eat well- This one may be a no brainer but can become a trap if one is not careful. Eat foods to fuel the body! When I do, I feel perkier and happy and like I am able to take on the world- or at least, any chaos in my own little world.

5.       Spend time with your child/children everyday- There are times when I really need to get things done, and my baby sits in his swing with his bottle. I realized however that this is an important time in his life when he needs to bond with his mom and dad. So everyday, I make the point to play with him. We sit and work on tummy time/rolling or play with toys together, even if the house is chaotic, because these are the moments that will become treasures.

6.       Spend time with your spouse everyday- Life gets busy, and sometimes we forget to spend time with our spouse. My husband and I have made a commitment to make sure that everyday (and most of the time it’s after the baby is put to bed), we do something together, whether it’s watch a movie, play a game together, or just sit and talk.  Spend time with your partner. Find some things that you enjoy doing together and commit to each other everyday.

7.       10 minutes of “me time”- I love being a mom and a wife, but if I don’t have some “me time,” I go crazy. So, I made a goal to do something for myself a few minutes a day. I say 10 because that is the most realistic for me in my life, but it can be however long you need. Make a goal to spend at least 10 minutes doing something you love- read a book (my personal favorite), write, watch an episode of your favorite T.V. series, give yours a DIY spa, or play some video games. Mamas (and really, just people in general) need to reenergize and come back to earth! For me, I made a goal to read at least 1 book per month. I can only read at night when the baby is asleep. It has done wonders for me.

Am I perfect at doing all these things? Of course not. Sometimes, I do a couple of these things, sometimes I do all of them. But dedicating myself to these tips have really helped me and I hope they might help you, too!

What are some things that you like to do to help keep you sane? Share them in the comments!