Time is weird.
Why is it that when we want Time to go fast, he tends to slow down? Almost like he's saying, "Look, I can only do so much, and I can't please everyone!"
But then, when we want him to slow down, he overworks, overtime, much too fast? Yet, it's all the same. 24 hours. 1,440 minutes. 86,400 seconds everyday. It's a weird concept to me. Just plain weird.
On Memorial Day, Time hit me hard. He reminded me how much I need to do. And he forced my mind recall how much time I possibly have before I will see them again. And looking down at each of their designated spot in the ground, I could almost feel him say, "Life is shorter than you will ever realize."
Yesterday, Time hit me hard. I have an unknown amount of it.
He likes to tease me.
(It's no fun realizing that when you want to visit your family, you have to go to the cemetery...)
I realized that I was secretly angry. Angry that Time continued to go his merry way, expecting me to keep up with his time schedule. And everyone else was going along with it.
But I don't want to move. I want the world to stop.
"Why are you still moving?? How can the world possibly go on, when mine has completely fallen apart? Time, just stop, for 5 minutes! Please!"
Or maybe it wasn't such a secret...
But, Time can't stop. That's not his fault. Which leaves only one option.
I have to move on.
And I realized that. Looking at the graves. No headstones yet.
I have to go on. I need to catch up. It can't stop.
I can't stop.
If there's anything that I learned from my mission, it's that the gospel is a verb, more so than a noun. It looks forward. It works. It's something you do.
It's a lifestyle.
It's not something that's stagnant. It's not something that waits. It's more than just hope. It's more than just a belief.
"The gospel is another word for opportunity." -Ephraim's Rescue
THE opportunity to change. THE opportunity to change yourself to become who you are MEANT to become.
Yesterday was hard, but today doesn't have to be, because of the gospel. Because Heavenly Father loves me so much, I have the knowledge that I'm going to see my family again. You have the hope that you will see your loved ones again. That is stemmed because of the Atonement of Christ, who suffered not only the penalty of our sins, but also, the pains that we feel EVERY DAY. So that is covered, when we CHOOSE to accept it. +
So, why would I not move forward? Why would I just stand here, when I could be moving, doing everything I can to make that happen?
Why wouldn't I live my life, knowing that it is short, and precious, and sweet, and I only get one mortal life? How am I going to exemplify my life?
When you think about it, you will realize that the greatest people who ever walked on this earth, never stopped. They were not stagnant, and they didn't let the situation get the better of them. Not only did they keep up with Time, they looked past it. Forward and onward.
I realized that, yes, this is the biggest trial of my faith thus far in my life. We are all guaranteed at least one of those sometime in this life. But, with this trial, I have received some of the greatest blessings. I have been given so many opportunities that I wouldn't have had otherwise. I have the ability to look past this, and understand that there is a far more infinite meaning for it all.
Our trials are given to us to give us the opportunity to shine.
Why would I not be happy? I have the choice.
Everyday, we have a choice. (Another gift from the gospel.) We have choices. We have the choice to break down, or rise up. We can be sad, or we can be happy. We cannot choose our consequences, but we can choose our outlook.
We can choose to fall and be alone, or we can choose to rely on the Lord.
Which is a much better choice.
Life isn't so bad with the Savior near.
So. I choose to be happy. I choose to be hopeful. I choose to try to find blessings everyday.
Sometimes, days are harder and more stressful. I choose to be sad, and grumpy. I choose to fall short. And those days aren't happy days.
Those are minutes wasted. That's Time being wasted.
This week, I have a lot to do. And it might be stressful.
But that's ok, because I am moving along. I can't be stagnant.
They wouldn't want that.
I don't want that.
I'm trying. I'm DOING.
I'm seizing this opportunity.