A New Normal

The whistle was piercing as one of the boys accidentally pushed over other teammate in order to get the ball. Another foul shot. Of course, the crowd was not happy. Some fathers were standing and waving their arms, irritated and screaming down to the referee. Mothers were frustrated at the call, commenting to their friends or husbands. Highland against Madison high, and Madison was catching up. But I wasn't focused on the game. No. Nor did I really care about the calls that the refs made. I was focused on the Highland basketball team.  Those boys were growing up so fast. I recognized most of them. I recognized them because they have been in my home as elementary school boys, playing with Keegan.  Keegan was not playing basketball. He was not out there hustling. Heck, he wasn't even sitting on the bench, frustrated, planning on how he could be a better teammate and player. That was a gift of his. Even if he wasn't the best, he worked harder than anyone else...

One of my favorite children stories growing up was the book by Max Lucado, "You are Special." (For anyone who doesn't know this story, I suggest you read it. This is a spoiler alert. So, if you would prefer to go read this story first, do it!) The synopsis of the story is this: There is a little wooden town with a bunch of little wooden people called Wimmicks. No Wimmick were the same, and they each had their own box of stickers. The stickers were either gold stars, or grey dots. Everyday, these Wimmicks would give out these stickers and stick them to each other. If a Wimmick was tall, beautiful, a good singer, an athlete, a performer, smart, or anything deemed as positive and/or desirable, that Wimmick would receive gold stars. On the other hand, those who may be small, too round, have scratched up wood, if they tripped, or if they made mistakes, would receive grey dots. No one wanted the grey dots. The main character of the story is a Wimmick named Punchinello. ...

The two biggest lies that we profess as truth: 1. If we pray, everything will be ok. 2. We will be happy if we do what we are supposed to do.   I know I'm being pretty bold, and pretty frank, and not saying your typical Sunday School answers, but that's just how it is.   I'm not saying that I don't believe in prayer, and I'm not saying that I don't believe in being obedient. On the contrary, actually. Those who really know me know that that is not the case. What I am saying, though, is something that we may not always want to hear.  Life is not fun and dandy just because we do good things. In fact, most people who do good things and try their best tend to be the ones who struggle or are slammed with the hardest things. Now, surely, that is not always the case. There are many stories where people do what they need to and things go according to their plan, for lack of a better way of explaining it. And yes, in the end, everything will ev...

It is times like these when I just need to remember to count my many blessings. You know those times. Those days where your first class drags because the monotone speaker drones on and on and on about things that you can just look on a paper yourself. Those times where you forgot an important assignment, so you can't even be in class, because there is no point. Those times where you work most of your week, not being able to do homework until later, but then, being so exhausted, which already adds to the mental, and not to mention, physical exhaustion of just living. There. That felt better. I needed to get that out. I'm not perfect. And I'm not great all the time. I think that makes me secretly sad. I want to be great all the time. I want to feel the way that people view me to feel; spunky, lively, independent, adventurous, happy go-lucky. I want to be like my heroes. I want to always be smiling. I want to be positive. But, more often than not, I'm just not. ...

December 25, 2013 was the last time I saw them. It was via Skype, for which I am eternally grateful. I remember being so excited to talk to them and see their faces. Keegs hair was out of control long and curly. Liam looked not so little anymore. They wanted to talk to me the most. They wanted to hear all about the mission. I told them all that I could. I showed them their sign names. I talked to Mom and Dad next. I told them about my mission. I updated them on things that they asked about. But, I didn't tell them too much. Because I knew I'd see them just a few short months later. "Man, I can't wait to serve a mission." Words spoken by Keegan Parrish. I realized something today. Unless you have served a mission, it is more difficult to listen to the missionary stories. Maybe not hard, but I've come to realize that the people who have served missions are the ones that really connect to your stories. They know what you've gone through. They un...

October is a lot like July. Which is a shame, because October is my favorite month. It's so pretty. We were sitting together, not saying anything for a while. I was too upset and depressed to talk. I had been crying a little. He asked, "What is going through your head? My response surprised me. Nothing you don't know. Just the normal stuff. ... This is just normal me. The feelings I feel are becoming more and more "normal." The home that I live in is becoming my "normal" comfortable place of refuge. The thoughts that I fight everyday is just a "normal" everyday inner battle that I have within myself. I want to defy this normal. .......   A couple of days ago, I felt impressed to read John 21. I thought that there was something that I was supposed to get out of it, that some scripture would pop right out at me. Maybe it would be a life changing phenomenon that I needed.     But, nothing happened. It was strange.   ...

I believe in fate. I don't believe in coincidence. I believe that when something sporadically comes into your head, you're meant to remember it, and ponder it. There is something that someone wants you to remember. So, last night, when this memory came into my head at 3 in the morning, I knew it wasn't just a coincidence. And when it was still there when I woke up at 8 in the morning, I knew there was something I was suppose to remember. It's one that I hold dear and near to my heart, one that I've shared many times, and feel that I need to share again. I very well possibly may have shared this before. But I hope to share something new. Something that can help someone out there, as it has helped me today. ... June of 2009 I was 17. It was my last ward youth conference for my church. We were at Scout Mountain, Camp Taylor. There were a lot of youth, and a few leaders. Whoever was in charge that day had planned an activity. The activity was suppose to b...