A New Normal

The rusty redness of the canyons stood so magnificently. The wind blew through the trees, giving me enough coolness to balance the burning sun that was bathing my skin. And the trail became steeper and steeper with each step that I took. But I wanted to reach the top of that mountain. "Don't look down..." I'm not afraid of heights. Just of falling. But my love for accomplishing an adventure will tend to exceed my fear of falling. So, I continued up. And up. And up... We had reached midpoint of the trail that lead to the Hidden Canyon. It was shady, so we rested a little bit. I took a moment to look around. "Zion is beautiful..." As I looked out, awestruck at the amazingness of the wilderness that we were camping in, they came into my head again. They are always there. I don't think they mean to come. I'm sure, really, that they would rather not. I know they would want me to enjoy my time and be with my friends and love the week. ...

It's everywhere. "Buy the best jewelry that she deserves for Mother's Day." "My mom is the BEST! #bestfriend #mothersday #bestmomeva!" "Happy Mother's Day, Mom! You are the best! Don't know where I'd be without you! "Happy Mother's Day!" ... Happy Mother's Day, Mom... **A conversation between a cashier girl and an customer** Cashier girl: "Happy Mother's Day!" Customer: "Are you a mother yourself?" Cashier girl: "Nope, not yet. Someday, maybe." Customer: "Oh well, then you make sure to enjoy your mother tomorrow. She'd love it!"   ...   I knew that this month would be hard. Never really realized how hard HARD is. I never really knew what a real broken heart is.   It's like a mountain. A mountain of feelings and emotions, that have been eroded by the conditions of constant questions such as "How are you doing?" and "What are yo...

A little Drop of Awesome for you. YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD.  Think on that for a minute. Ponder it. What does that mean? Well, we could think about it from a more biological perspective. We inherit earthly physical traits from our earthly physical parents. We have their eyes, nose, face, skin... We even develop very similar personality traits from them as well. Sometimes, it's being stubborn. Sometimes, it's patience. Sometimes, it's the ability to look on the bright side of life. You know the drill. So... if we develop traits from our earthly parents... why would we not inherit spiritual traits from our Heavenly Father? Who is, by the way, the FATHER of ALL families, and the ETERNAL FATHER of our heavenly family, which includes ALL OF US? Let's go a little deeper. So, not only is he our Heavenly Father, and our Eternal Father, but just to add on to that, he is our LOVING Heavenly Eternal Father. WHICH MEANS! He will do literally ANYTHING for us. And that also m...

Curiosity got the better of me. Type. Type. Click. Click. Search engine. Click. ** What comes up when you Google search Parrish Family Pocatello** -Siblings speak out after family dies from carbon monoxide -4 family members likely died from carbon monoxide -Two LDS missionaries heading home after family dies from... -Dr. William "Bill" Bart Parrish/ Colonial Home **What comes up when you Google image search Parrish Family Pocatello** -My house -Liam's 2013 school picture -Keegan's 2013 school picture -2012 family photo, taken right before Ian left for his mission. This would also be the picture that would be the most publicized. -A portrait of Mom -A portrait of Dad -Ian and me during our interview -The candlelight viewing **In short** Exposure. The search engine reminded me of everything that I hold near and dear. It reminded of the truth.  They're gone. And you still have something to do here.  I th...

 *** A late night conversation between a 12 year old girl and her father***  "Daddy, I don't feel like I amount to anything. No matter what I do, it's not good enough. How can I possibly succeed?"                                                                  ...Ponders deeply... "You know those fun house mirrors at the fair or circus? You know how when you look at them, you're shorter, or skinnier, or fatter, or taller. But you're NEVER you. That is how the world will see you. But it's not fair. It's not right. It's not you."                                             ...Points at a full length mirror across the room... "Now, when you look at that mirror, you are EXACTLY who you are. It's your...

I remember the night of the viewing. Hundreds of people were there. Maybe even a thousand at some points. The crowd was overwhelming. The condolences were slightly overbearing. I remember feeling so claustrophobic, wanting outside air to breathe. But there was no way out. I left the gym. I found a table where they were serving food in the room across the hall. My friends were there. The ones that I actually wanted to see. They were sitting there, waiting patiently, talking among themselves, smiling. They greeted me, although I could see that they were not really sure how they were suppose to. Smile? Frown? Grieve? What does she want? I smiled as much as I could. I shared missionary stories. I tried to forget why I was there. Tried to treat it like a normal everyday church activity. Not as a funeral... For a little while, things were a little normal. Like how things were before. But, the crowd still found me. And I had to face the reality again. Why I was really ther...

Mom and Dad and Keegs and Lemur left behind a lot of stuff. Trophies from basketball and football tournaments, home decor, a new kitchen aide that Dad just got Mom for Christmas, clothes, movies, cars, books... Just lots of, now, pointless stuff. Sitting around, waiting to be held, worn, used, loved. Waiting to feel that sense of belonging. Years of memories, almost mocking me each time I enter my home, which, regardless of the fullness of it, is completely empty. It's funny. When I went there today, I called out as a habit, "Hello! Anyone home?" ........ "oh..... right...." *** As humans, we exist. That's inevitable. Obvious. Clear. I hope that's not a surprise. As humans, we naturally have a routine of some sort. Most of them may be something like this: wake up, get dress, eat, work, school, home, dinner, sleep. We do this all the time. We survive. We exist. Existence is interesting, if you really think about it. We can all do it. Eve...